Hi CJ,

As Looby said, you are not here to be judged, you dont need us to tell you what was right or wrong for you, you made a decision, you worried over it, your intention was of thought and care for his sister, maybe it was bad timing its very early days, who knows?  Whats done is done now move on, positive things are happening and he has made a step forward in arranging to talk with his sister, lets hope she can be as supportive as you both need her to be right now.

You may well find yourself stuck between that rock and hard place a few more times along your journey as will your CG, but keep looking in the right places and your support and guidance will always be here.  Just keep it in today for now, tomorrow will bring whatever it may.

You have all our love and support and well done to you both so far.

Lots of love

xx

Thanks guys.  You make a decision then you worry sometimes if you have done the right thing.  If he hadn't been trying so hard and working all the hours he can I don't think I would have helped.  Would have just said I had no cash as he doesn't really know what money I have or don't have.  Like I say he never asked, I don't know if he was hoping I would offer, he called to say that he was really stressed as he was short of the money and knew he had to talk to someone before the idea of doing 'something stupid' came into his head to get the last of the money.

All this thinking before you speak and thinking what to do or say for the best hurts your head!  Its a learning curve for someone who talks first and think later!

Still smiling though I am proud of what my CG has achieved this week and I am proud of myself for the support I have given him (I don't mean that to sound big headed) so we'll just have to see what tomorrow brings!

J x

Hiya CJ

If I had a penny for all the things i did wrong i would indeed be rich.  We all have to deal with our own situation in the end and that is what you did. Telling his sister is a big step and more important today than anything.  It is one less person he will be able to manipulate and it is his choice to cut that enablement off.  Be ready for this situation when he is due to pay her again.  Does he owe her very much? 

He is remembering what he learnt years ago in GA which proves to me that whatever a CG says about GA - 'it made no difference', 'didn't help', 'they didn't need it anyway', 'I am alright now'  they never forget the words they heard in that room.  

thank goodness for GA and GT

thinking about you very hard tonight.

Loads of Love

Velvet xx

Thanks Velvet, I am really gaining a lot from everyone on here.

He was due his sister £800 and he worked all the hours this week and pulled together £600 for her and was £200 short.  I paid that today so that is her completely paid off.  He wanted to pay her in full before he told her as he didn't want her worrying she wouldn't get it back at all.  So he called tonight to say that he had asked her to come round for a cuppa and a chat, he was all ready with what he was going to say and he ran through it with me on the phone.  Well, he is just off the phone and said she turned up with his other sister, so the talk didn't take place tonight.  I went quiet, and told him that I NEED other people to know for his sake and for mine.  And that I will know he is deadly serious about this recovery if he does this.  He said he was thrown that his other sister was there and not ready to talk to her yet (not close with her at all).  So he is going to talk to her by the end of the week.  So as you can guess there is a part of me that believes him and a part that is doubtful.  So we'll see what the rest of the week brings.  Benefit of the doubt and all that.

He went to a few GA meetings a few years back he told me.  He said he took a lot from the first two meetings but after that he said he just didn't get it, it didn't click with him.  He said that he had a self-help book that helped a lot after that, so he had dug that out again and working with that just now.  He said he hasn't ruled out GA again though.

So fingers crossed for this week.  I really believe he wants to do this, but I know I don't trust him to bet.

J x

Hi CJ,

Just popping in to see how things are with you?  You have not posted for some time and that worries me a little, especially as you are a newbie, although I havent been here too long myself, i did find I was posting almost daily to begin with and it really did help.

Update us on you , we care about you in more ways than you could imagine.

Look forward to hearing from you.

Love and hugs

xxxx